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How Far Are You Willing To Go To Pee?

June 29, 2020 by Comments

CHARACTERS: Ali and Jamie, a couple in their 60’s
SETTING: Ali pulls into a rest stop in New Hampshire on an 8 hour ride up to Maine.

ALI:  Hey, I made it 4 hours without having to stop to pee!  A record!

JAMIE:  I guess we’re going to have to rename you from “pitstop peeing mama” to…

Ali interrupts

ALI: “Great goddess of the universe with the amazing bladder.”

JAMIE:  Yep, that’s exactly what I was going to say.

ALI:  Of course you were!

JAMIE:  So hon, this restop only has port-o-potties.  No inside peeing options.

ALI:  Okay, no problem.  But I gotta go NOW.

Ali puts her mask on and heads over the port-o-potties. She peers into a couple and starts to walk back to the car.

JAMIE:  What’s up?  Aren’t you going?

ALI:  Those are the most god-awful, reeking, boxes of disgust I have ever experienced.  I’d rather pee in my pants than use one of those.  Or pee off the side of the road even if people can see my naked butt.

JAMIE: That bad huh?

ALI:  So how is it that all these people pooping and peeing in a metal box that is overflowing with toxins, are less likely to spread a virus than if you go into a clean, sanitized rest stop? 

JAMIE:  Good question, but I don’t have an answer.

ALI:  I didn’t expect you to.  Just needed to vent.  And I do need to pee BAD. 

JAMIE: So no going another 4 hours holding it in?

ALI:  Nope.  I’m going to find a spot in the grass over there and give everyone a show. Hand me the toilet paper babe.

JAMIE:  You got it my “Great goddess of the universe with the amazing bladder and naked tush!”

 

 


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Ali Skylar (187 Posts)

Ali Skylar’s mission is to use inspirational words, positive affirmations, mindfulness exercises and positive songs to help you learn how to change your life and have a true spiritual awakening! Ali uses her Shiftitudes -uniquely crafted self-affirmation acronyms - blog, books and courses to help keep you committed to your spiritual journey! Also, her Quotitudes – inspirational sayings, encouraging words and inspirational quotes about life - gently aid in helping you to achieve a positive mental attitude essential for personal growth and presence of mind. Chat with Ali on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | YouTube


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