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Go Ahead…Feel Sorry For Yourself!

January 24, 2019 by Comments

angel pictures awaken our hearts A soul sister of mine is working with the program The Compassion Key by Edward Mannix. According to Mannix,”Your compassion is the most powerful healing force on the planet.  Your compassion holds the keys to your own healing and salvation; to the joy, happness and well-being of those closest to you and whose lives you touch most deeply; as well as to the happiness, enlightenment, and perhaps even the survival of human kind.”

From what my friend shared about this teaching, I learned that part of the practice is saying “I am so sorry” to yourself during moments when you become consciously aware that you are suffering – suffering by beating yourself up with a critical, angry, sad, scared, and/or violent voice in your head.  When you become aware that you are your own worst enemy….

When I was a kid I remember people saying “oh, don’t feel so sorry for yourself. snap out of it!” Maybe that wasn’t such good advice.  Maybe if I had been able to feel SO SORRY for myself instead of  1) beating myself up with words of denegration for my feelings, and 2) stuffing down my “negative” emotions, I wouldn’t have continued to be my own worst enemy as an adult.

For example, I just sprained my toe last Friday – during a massage no less.  After a couple of months of some challenging physical symptoms which I’ve handled with great finesse, the first thoughts in my head were “What the F***! How did I attract this? Come on life, give me a break! (be careful what you ask for). Even when I take a rare moment to relax, here life is beating me up, spitting in my face! I must not be worthy of happiness and rest. Oh yeah, life sucks.” I defaulted back to my old programming…temporarily.

my wise warrior

my wise warrior

Luckily, I got the hit really quickly that I was in victim mode and I turned my sucky to soulful by showing some compassion for myself .  I started saying “I am so sorry you hurt your toe.  I am so sorry you are in pain. I am so sorry you won’t be able to take the dance class you were so looking forward to.”  Once I started being kind to myself, once I started supporting ME even in a “broken” place, my heart opened up a bit and I relaxed.

As many current teachers point out – and Jeff Foster says so eloquently – during times when you are being challenged by negative thoughts – sadness, anger, fear, despair, etc. – remember that all these feelings want is to “be held, not healed.”  They want to be accepted and loved, not destroyed or fixed….

One of my first teachers on compassion, Michael Brown, author of The Presence Process: A Healing Journey Into Present Moment Awareness, brilliantly pointed out that compassion can be broken down into “come-pass-on.” When we embrace our feelings, allow them to be heard, held and honored, they have space to “pass on” and then TRUE healing can take place.

So go ahead and feel SO SORRY for yourself! Show some self-compassion and see the magic that happens.  Be an awesome role model for your kids on how to love yourself and all those around you.  Break the chains of violence by loving yourself and see how everyone around you will be free to do the same….


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Ali Skylar (187 Posts)

Ali Skylar’s mission is to use inspirational words, positive affirmations, mindfulness exercises and positive songs to help you learn how to change your life and have a true spiritual awakening! Ali uses her Shiftitudes -uniquely crafted self-affirmation acronyms - blog, books and courses to help keep you committed to your spiritual journey! Also, her Quotitudes – inspirational sayings, encouraging words and inspirational quotes about life - gently aid in helping you to achieve a positive mental attitude essential for personal growth and presence of mind. Chat with Ali on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | YouTube

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