Click the share button and post to facebook or twitter!

For God’s Sake!

August 30, 2018 by Comments






A home.  Sam is upstairs in his office.  Linda is in the kitchen below the office. All of the dialog is done yeling back and forth.


LINDA: Will you please stop that banging for God’s sake!

SAM: I’m not banging! It’s not me!

LINDA: Well then who is???

SAM: I don’t know!  It’s coming from outside.  Hang on I’ll open the window and check it out.

LINDA: Well do it quick please because I’m trying to meditate down here and I only have another 5 minutes before the craziness of the day starts.

SAM: Okay, okay!!  I’m on it.


Sam pops his head out of the window and looks upward on the outside of the house where the banging is coming from.


SAM: You’re never going to believe this.

LINDA: What?

SAM: It’s a woodpecker pecking on the overhang!

LINDA: What?  I can’t hear you with the banging! Speak louder!

SAM (really yelling): It’s a friggin Woodpecker making the racket and destroying our home in the process!

LINDA: Shit!  

SAM: Shit is right because I can’t even reach up there to shoo him away.

LINDA: How about using the hose from the garden?

SAM: Won’t reach.  He, or she, is too high.

LINDA (sarcastically): Well how about you ask him nicely to stop because now I only have 3 minutes left to meditate!

SAM (shouting out window to woodpecker): Hey woodpecker!  My wife wants to know if you could please stop pecking at our house so that she can meditate!

The woodpecker stops the pecking/banging and flies away.


SAM: Damn, it worked.  Linda? Linda it worked!!  You can meditate now hon.

No answer.


SAM: Linda?  Are you there?  Are you meditating?  Answer me will ya!!!

LINDA (chanting trying to ignore Sam): Om……….om….


Buzzer goes off indicating end of meditating session.  Linda tries to stop buzzer (which is very loud) but it won’t go off.


SAM: Linda will you turn the buzzer off for God’s sake!!?? That’s worse than the woodpecker!  

LINDA:  (messing with the buzzer) It…won’t…go…off!  Damnit! Wait, I have an idea…

Linda throws the buzzer out the window.


Hey the buzzing stopped.  How did you do that?

LINDA: The buzzer did a “woodpecker” and flew away.  We’re free!!

SAM: Huh?

Don’t worry about it Sam.  Just enjoy the peace. Om……



If you like this story, please share it!

Ali Skylar (208 Posts)

Ali Skylar’s mission is to use inspirational words, positive affirmations, mindfulness exercises and positive songs to help you learn how to change your life and have a true spiritual awakening! Ali uses her Shiftitudes -uniquely crafted self-affirmation acronyms - blog, books and courses to help keep you committed to your spiritual journey! Also, her Quotitudes – inspirational sayings, encouraging words and inspirational quotes about life - gently aid in helping you to achieve a positive mental attitude essential for personal growth and presence of mind. Chat with Ali on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | YouTube

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get 11 FREE Shifting Tools!

Instantly shift your attitude into well-being!!

Enter your email below and get 11 Shiftitudes AND Ali’s Sucky to Soulful insights sent to your inbox