Characters
Sam
Linda
Setting
A home. Sam is upstairs in his office. Linda is in the kitchen below the office. All of the dialog is done yeling back and forth.
LINDA: Will you please stop that banging for God’s sake!
SAM: I’m not banging! It’s not me!
LINDA: Well then who is???
SAM: I don’t know! It’s coming from outside. Hang on I’ll open the window and check it out.
LINDA: Well do it quick please because I’m trying to meditate down here and I only have another 5 minutes before the craziness of the day starts.
SAM: Okay, okay!! I’m on it.
Sam pops his head out of the window and looks upward on the outside of the house where the banging is coming from.
SAM: You’re never going to believe this.
LINDA: What?
SAM: It’s a woodpecker pecking on the overhang!
LINDA: What? I can’t hear you with the banging! Speak louder!
SAM (really yelling): It’s a friggin Woodpecker making the racket and destroying our home in the process!
LINDA: Shit!
SAM: Shit is right because I can’t even reach up there to shoo him away.
LINDA: How about using the hose from the garden?
SAM: Won’t reach. He, or she, is too high.
LINDA (sarcastically): Well how about you ask him nicely to stop because now I only have 3 minutes left to meditate!
SAM (shouting out window to woodpecker): Hey woodpecker! My wife wants to know if you could please stop pecking at our house so that she can meditate!
The woodpecker stops the pecking/banging and flies away.
SAM: Damn, it worked. Linda? Linda it worked!! You can meditate now hon.
No answer.
SAM: Linda? Are you there? Are you meditating? Answer me will ya!!!
LINDA (chanting trying to ignore Sam): Om…..om…..om….om….
Buzzer goes off indicating end of meditating session. Linda tries to stop buzzer (which is very loud) but it won’t go off.
SAM: Linda will you turn the buzzer off for God’s sake!!?? That’s worse than the woodpecker!
LINDA: (messing with the buzzer) It…won’t…go…off! Damnit! Wait, I have an idea…
Linda throws the buzzer out the window.
SAM
Hey the buzzing stopped. How did you do that?
LINDA: The buzzer did a “woodpecker” and flew away. We’re free!!
SAM: Huh?
LINDA
Don’t worry about it Sam. Just enjoy the peace. Om……
THE END
Leave a Reply
Get 11 FREE Shifting Tools!
Instantly shift your attitude into well-being!!
Enter your email below and get 11 Shiftitudes AND Ali’s Sucky to Soulful insights sent to your inbox