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Gardening and Sex

June 10, 2020 by Comments

CHARACTERS: Amelia (city goddess) and Mindy (nature goddess)

SETTING: Both women in front of house gardening, landscaping a couple of spots in front of the house that have been bare for a couple of years.

Amelia:  Damn, this gardening is really tough on your back. It’s a lot easier watering my indoor plants than planting outside. Water once a week and boom!  Plants galore and no back pain.

Mindy:  You might be better off kneeling than squatting.  You have to find the right position that works for your body.

Amelia: Kinda like sex, right?

Mindy: Let’s just stick with gardening for now, okay?  I’m sweaty, it’s hot and I need to concentrate.

Amelia:  Sweaty and hot! Hmm, that also sounds a lot like sex too!

Mindy:  Amelia, come on. Focus. Get the shovel, dig the hole and plant already!

Amelia: Another sex metaphor Mindy.  You’re on a roll!

Mindy:  Look, we have 15 minutes to get these 6 Vinca plants into the ground and then I gotta go meet the kids.

Amelia: Okay, okay, I’ll shut up and plant….even though I’d much prefer to be having sex than planting these suckers.  My back would be hurting a lot less for sure.

Mindy: OMG what is wrong with you today?  You have sex on the brain.

Amelia: I’m just pulling your leg. Having fun annoying you!

Mindy:  Well, it’s working.

Amelia: Look, you’ve been sweet enough to help me landscape. I promise and I commit to plant these suckers with no more sex jokes (although I could find a sex metaphor with the word “suckers”)

Mindy: When there’s a will there’s a way.

Amelia: Better yet, when there’s a woman there’s a way.

Mindy:  Where did you hear that?

Amelia:  I just made it up.

Mindy: So true though.

Amelia:  So true…especially when it comes to sex…:)


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Ali Skylar (219 Posts)

Ali Skylar’s mission is to use inspirational words, positive affirmations, mindfulness exercises and positive songs to help you learn how to change your life and have a true spiritual awakening! Ali uses her Shiftitudes -uniquely crafted self-affirmation acronyms - blog, books and courses to help keep you committed to your spiritual journey! Also, her Quotitudes – inspirational sayings, encouraging words and inspirational quotes about life - gently aid in helping you to achieve a positive mental attitude essential for personal growth and presence of mind. Chat with Ali on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | YouTube

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