CHARACTERS

Man

Woman

 

SETTING

Woman and Man sitting in their car waiting for the train to come which Woman is taking to get to an event.

 

MAN: You didn’t.

WOMAN:  Shit, I think I did.

MAN:  Crap, that sucks.

WOMAN:  Majorly.  Not a great way to start a 77 minute train ride.

MAN: You’ll be okay.  I’m sure many people ride the train with skid marks all the time.

WOMAN: Yuck, it’s so gross though.

MAN: Was it a lot?

WOMAN: Nope, a minor fart blip.

MAN:  There’s a bathroom on the train.  Check it out there.

WOMAN: Good idea.

MAN:  Sorry, hon.  But at least your hair looks great!

WOMAN: Thanks.  This stinks though.  Literally.  You smell anything?

MAN: Nope.

WOMAN:  Trains here – gotta go.

Woman kisses man, grabs bags and leaves to get onto the train.  5 minutes later she texts Man.

WOMAN (text): False alarm!  “No poopy pants!” Yay!

Man doesn’t text back for 10 minutes.  Woman texts again.

WOMAN (text):  Hey, you there?

MAN (text):  Sorry. I was cleaning up after the dog.  He pooped on the carpet.

WOMAN (text): Man, it’s a bad poopy kind of day.

MAN (text): Better poopy on the carpet than in your pants!

WOMAN (text): Amen to that!

 

THE END