CHARACTERS: Amelia (city goddess) and Mindy (nature goddess)
SETTING: Both women in front of house gardening, landscaping a couple of spots in front of the house that have been bare for a couple of years.
Amelia: Damn, this gardening is really tough on your back. It’s a lot easier watering my indoor plants than planting outside. Water once a week and boom! Plants galore and no back pain.
Mindy: You might be better off kneeling than squatting. You have to find the right position that works for your body.
Amelia: Kinda like sex, right?
Mindy: Let’s just stick with gardening for now, okay? I’m sweaty, it’s hot and I need to concentrate.
Amelia: Sweaty and hot! Hmm, that also sounds a lot like sex too!
Mindy: Amelia, come on. Focus. Get the shovel, dig the hole and plant already!
Amelia: Another sex metaphor Mindy. You’re on a roll!
Mindy: Look, we have 15 minutes to get these 6 Vinca plants into the ground and then I gotta go meet the kids.
Amelia: Okay, okay, I’ll shut up and plant….even though I’d much prefer to be having sex than planting these suckers. My back would be hurting a lot less for sure.
Mindy: OMG what is wrong with you today? You have sex on the brain.
Amelia: I’m just pulling your leg. Having fun annoying you!
Mindy: Well, it’s working.
Amelia: Look, you’ve been sweet enough to help me landscape. I promise and I commit to plant these suckers with no more sex jokes (although I could find a sex metaphor with the word “suckers”)
Mindy: When there’s a will there’s a way.
Amelia: Better yet, when there’s a woman there’s a way.
Mindy: Where did you hear that?
Amelia: I just made it up.
Mindy: So true though.
Amelia: So true…especially when it comes to sex…:)
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